What do i do in a watch-making school?

The other day, Alvin made a comment that started my rubbish thinking engine running on overdrive. He said, there was ice on the polar side of Mars to which i said, we also have polar ice caps, does that make us aliens too? What I said to stress the rest of them out is as follows

Me: Humans actually came from Mars, does to pollution and wasting all resources of Mars, and practically driving Mars to destruction, the Human race built huge ass space-ships to haul (evacuate) the people of Mars out of the doom planet. The destination would be earth.
Due to the rush in designing the space-ships, proper QAQC was not done and most of the space-ships were destroyed along the journey to Earth.
Then the landing systems were screwed and the space-ships that arrive at Earth crash landed in various continents. The White ship in Europe, Red ship in North America, Brown ship in South America, Black Ship in Africa,Australia, and the Yellow ship in central Asia.

The Cyprus opens his mouth and calls me a whacko, which makes him my next target. Cyprus has that weird hand coordination where both his hands can do diffrent motions relative to the other. something like the pat-head-rub-tummy-then change orientation experiment/game.

Me conts: Cyprus was one of the pilots of themothership with  his superior skill in hand eye coordination, but being arrogant he started wanking and shot his load onto the control panel, short-circuiting the ships electrical systems and causing most ships to crash land and destroy everyone on board.
The crash was so traumatising to everyone that no one could remember a thing. The great people of our times are those alien intellectuals who have sort of flashbacks that give them ground breaking theories and inventions to help develope the human race into an advanced race, Its just that they don't realise they have previous experiences in another life.

I don't know where i was going with this story but basically we are Martians, and we are destroying Earth and also trying to get back to our home planet, Mars. Just do a proper QAQC the next time we have to evac and don't let Cyprus drive, or keep him under strict supervision at all times.